Робінзон Крузо
Ill and Conscience–Stricken
Thesereflectionsoppressedmeforthesecondorthirddayofmydistemper;andintheviolence,aswellofthefeverasofthedreadfulreproachesofmyconscience,extortedsomewordsfromme,likeprayingtoGod,thoughIcannotsaytheywereeitheraprayerattendedwithdesiresorwithhopes; itwasratherthevoiceofmerefrightanddistress. Mythoughtswereconfused,theconvictionsgreatuponmymind,andthehorrorofdyinginsuchamiserablecondition,raisedvaporsintomyheadwiththemereapprehensions; andinthesehurriesofmysoul,Iknownotwhatmytonguemightexpress; butitwasratherexclamation,suchas, "Lord!whatamiserablecreatureamI!IfIshouldbesick,Ishallcertainlydieforwantofhelp;andwhatwillbecomeofme?" Thenthetearsburstoutofmyeyes,andIcouldsaynomoreforagoodwhile.
Inthisinterval,thegoodadviceofmyfathercametomymind,andpresentlyhisprediction,whichImentionedatthebeginningofthisstory,viz.,thatifIdidtakethisfoolishstep,Godwouldnotblessme, andIwouldhaveleisurehereaftertoreflectuponhavingneglectedhiscounsel,whentheremightbenonetoassistinmyrecovery. "Now,"saidIaloud,"mydearfather’swordsarecometopass;God’sjusticehasovertakenme,andIhavenonetohelporhearme. IrejectedthevoiceofProvidence,whichhadmercifullyputmeinapostureorstationoflifewhereinImighthavebeenhappyandeasy; butIwouldneitherseeitmyselfnorlearntoknowtheblessingofitfrommyparents. Ileftthemtomournovermyfolly,andnowIamlefttomournundertheconsequencesofit. Irefusedtheirhelpandassistance,whowouldhaveliftedmeintotheworld,andwouldhavemadeeverythingeasytome; andnowIhavedifficultiestostrugglewith,toogreatforevenNatureitselftosupport,andnoassistance,nohelp,nocomfort,noadvice." ThenIcriedout, "Lord,bemyhelp,forIamingreatdistress."
