Холодный дом

In Trust

           Why,ifthisbubblehadn’tbrokennow,"hesaid,tearingtheletterhehadwrittenintofragmentsandmoodilycastingthemaway,bydriblets,"howcouldIhavegoneabroad?Imusthavebeenorderedabroad,buthowcouldIhavegone?HowcouldI,withmyexperienceofthatthing,trustevenVholesunlessIwasathisback!"IsupposeheknewbymyfacewhatIwasabouttosay,buthecaughtthehandIhadlaiduponhisarmandtouchedmyownlipswithittopreventmefromgoingon."No,DameDurden!TwosubjectsIforbidmustforbid.ThefirstisJohnJarndyce.Thesecond,youknowwhat.Callitmadness,andItellyouIcan’thelpitnow,andcan’tbesane.Butitisnosuchthing;itistheoneobjectIhavetopursue.ItisapityIeverwasprevailedupontoturnoutofmyroadforanyother.Itwouldbewisdomtoabandonitnow,afterallthetime,anxiety,andpainsIhavebestoweduponit!Oh,yes,truewisdom.Itwouldbeveryagreeable,too,tosomepeople;butIneverwill."HewasinthatmoodinwhichIthoughtitbestnottoincreasehisdetermination(ifanythingcouldincreaseit)byopposinghim.ItookoutAda’sletterandputitinhishand."AmItoreaditnow?"heasked.AsItoldhimyes,helaiditonthetable,andrestinghisheaduponhishand,began.Hehadnotreadfarwhenherestedhisheaduponhistwohandstohidehisfacefromme.Inalittlewhileheroseasifthelightwerebadandwenttothewindow.Hefinishedreadingitthere,withhisbacktowardsme,andafterhehadfinishedandhadfoldeditup,stoodthereforsomeminuteswiththeletterinhishand.

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