Холодный дом

The Letter and the Answer

           Ibeganwithmyovershadowedchildhood,andpassedthroughthosetimiddaystotheheavytimewhenmyauntlaydead,withherresolutefacesocoldandset,andwhenIwasmoresolitarywithMrs.RachaelthanifIhadhadnooneintheworldtospeaktoortolookat.IpassedtothealtereddayswhenIwassoblestastofindfriendsinallaroundme,andtobebeloved.IcametothetimewhenIfirstsawmydeargirlandwasreceivedintothatsisterlyaffectionwhichwasthegraceandbeautyofmylife.Irecalledthefirstbrightgleamofwelcomewhichhadshoneoutofthoseverywindowsuponourexpectantfacesonthatcoldbrightnight,andwhichhadneverpaled.Ilivedmyhappylifethereoveragain,Iwentthroughmyillnessandrecovery,Ithoughtofmyselfsoalteredandofthosearoundmesounchanged;andallthishappinessshonelikealightfromonecentralfigure,representedbeforemebytheletteronthetable.Iopeneditandreadit.Itwassoimpressiveinitsloveforme,andintheunselfishcautionitgaveme,andtheconsiderationitshowedformeineveryword,thatmyeyesweretoooftenblindedtoreadmuchatatime.ButIreaditthroughthreetimesbeforeIlaiditdown.IhadthoughtbeforehandthatIknewitspurport,andIdid.Itaskedme,wouldIbethemistressofBleakHouse.Itwasnotaloveletter,thoughitexpressedsomuchlove,butwaswrittenjustashewouldatanytimehavespokentome.Isawhisface,andheardhisvoice,andfelttheinfluenceofhiskindprotectingmannerineveryline.

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