Холодный дом

Chesney Wold

           Iheldmymotherinmyembrace,andsheheldmeinhers,andamongthestillwoodsinthesilenceofthesummerdaythereseemedtobenothingbutourtwotroubledmindsthatwasnotatpeace."Toblessandreceiveme,"groanedmymother,"itisfartoolate.Imusttravelmydarkroadalone,anditwillleadmewhereitwill.Fromdaytoday,sometimesfromhourtohour,Idonotseethewaybeforemyguiltyfeet.ThisistheearthlypunishmentIhavebroughtuponmyself.Ibearit,andIhideit."Eveninthethinkingofherendurance,shedrewherhabitualairofproudindifferenceaboutherlikeaveil,thoughshesooncastitoffagain."Imustkeepthissecret,ifbyanymeansitcanbekept,notwhollyformyself.Ihaveahusband,wretchedanddishonouringcreaturethatIam!"Thesewordssheutteredwithasuppressedcryofdespair,moreterribleinitssoundthananyshriek.Coveringherfacewithherhands,sheshrankdowninmyembraceasifshewereunwillingthatIshouldtouchher;norcouldI,bymyutmostpersuasionsorbyanyendearmentsIcoulduse,prevailuponhertorise.Shesaid,no,no,no,shecouldonlyspeaktomeso;shemustbeproudanddisdainfuleverywhereelse;shewouldbehumbledandashamedthere,intheonlynaturalmomentsofherlife.Myunhappymothertoldmethatinmyillnessshehadbeennearlyfrantic.Shehadbutthenknownthatherchildwasliving.Shecouldnothavesuspectedmetobethatchildbefore.Shehadfollowedmedownheretospeaktomebutonceinallherlife.

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