Холодный дом

Esther’s Narrative

           Thetruthis,hewrotetomeunderasortofprotestwhileunabletowritetoyouwithanyhopeofananswerwrotecoldly,haughtily,distantly,resentfully.Well,dearestlittlewoman,wemustlookforbearinglyonit.Heisnottoblame.JarndyceandJarndycehaswarpedhimoutofhimselfandpervertedmeinhiseyes.Ihaveknownitdoasbaddeeds,andworse,manyatime.Iftwoangelscouldbeconcernedinit,Ibelieveitwouldchangetheirnature.""Ithasnotchangedyours,guardian.""Oh,yes,ithas,mydear,"hesaidlaughingly."Ithasmadethesouthwindeasterly,Idon’tknowhowoften.Rickmistrustsandsuspectsmegoestolawyers,andistaughttomistrustandsuspectme.HearsIhaveconflictinginterests,claimsclashingagainsthisandwhatnot.Whereas,heavenknowsthatifIcouldgetoutofthemountainsofwiglomerationonwhichmyunfortunatenamehasbeensolongbestowed(whichIcan’t)orcouldlevelthembytheextinctionofmyownoriginalright(whichIcan’teither,andnohumanpowerevercan,anyhow,Ibelieve,tosuchapasshavewegot),Iwoulddoitthishour.IwouldratherrestoretopoorRickhispropernaturethanbeendowedwithallthemoneythatdeadsuitors,broken,heartandsoul,uponthewheelofChancery,haveleftunclaimedwiththeAccountant-Generalandthat’smoneyenough,mydear,tobecastintoapyramid,inmemoryofChancery’stranscendentwickedness.""ISitpossible,guardian,"Iasked,amazed,"thatRichardcanbesuspiciousofyou?""Ah,mylove,mylove,"hesaid,"itisinthesubtlepoisonofsuchabusestobreedsuchdiseases.

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