Холодный дом

A New Lodger

           Itisofnousetryinghimwithanythinglessthanafull-sized"bread"orproposingtohimanyjointincutunlessitisintheverybestcut.Inthematterofgravyheisadamant.Consciousofhiselfinpowerandsubmittingtohisdreadexperience,Mr.Guppyconsultshiminthechoiceofthatday’sbanquet,turninganappealinglooktowardshimasthewaitressrepeatsthecatalogueofviandsandsaying"WhatdoYOUtake,Chick?"Chick,outoftheprofundityofhisartfulness,preferring"vealandhamandFrenchbeansanddon’tyouforgetthestuffing,Polly"(withanunearthlycockofhisvenerableeye),Mr.GuppyandMr.Joblinggivethelikeorder.Threepintpotsofhalf-and-halfaresuperadded.QuicklythewaitressreturnsbearingwhatisapparentlyamodeloftheTowerofBabelbutwhatisreallyapileofplatesandflattindish-covers.Mr.Smallweed,approvingofwhatissetbeforehim,conveysintelligentbenignityintohisancienteyeandwinksuponher.Then,amidaconstantcomingin,andgoingout,andrunningabout,andaclatterofcrockery,andarumblingupanddownofthemachinewhichbringsthenicecutsfromthekitchen,andashrillcryingformorenicecutsdownthespeaking-pipe,andashrillreckoningofthecostofnicecutsthathavebeendisposedof,andageneralflushandsteamofhotjoints,cutanduncut,andaconsiderablyheatedatmosphereinwhichthesoiledknivesandtableclothsseemtobreakoutspontaneouslyintoeruptionsofgreaseandblotchesofbeer,thelegaltriumvirateappeasetheirappetites.Mr.Joblingisbuttonedupcloserthanmereadornmentmightrequire.

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