Холодный дом

Esther’s Narrative

           Ihadnodoubtofyourbeingcontentedandhappywithme,beingsodutifulandsodevoted;butIsawwithwhomyouwouldbehappier.ThatIpenetratedhissecretwhenDameDurdenwasblindtoitisnowonder,forIknewthegoodthatcouldneverchangeinherbetterfarthanshedid.Well!IhavelongbeeninAllanWoodcourt’sconfidence,althoughhewasnot,untilyesterday,afewhoursbeforeyoucamehere,inmine.ButIwouldnothavemyEsther’sbrightexamplelost;Iwouldnothaveajotofmydeargirl’svirtuesunobservedandunhonoured;IwouldnothaveheradmittedonsufferanceintothelineofMorganap-Kerrig,no,notfortheweightingoldofallthemountainsinWales!"Hestoppedtokissmeontheforehead,andIsobbedandweptafresh.ForIfeltasifIcouldnotbearthepainfuldelightofhispraise."Hush,littlewoman!Don’tcry;thisistobeadayofjoy.Ihavelookedforwardtoit,"hesaidexultingly,"formonthsonmonths!Afewwordsmore,DameTrot,andIhavesaidmysay.DeterminednottothrowawayoneatomofmyEsther’sworth,ItookMrs.Woodcourtintoaseparateconfidence.’Now,madam,’saidI,’IclearlyperceiveandindeedIknow,tobootthatyoursonlovesmyward.Iamfurtherverysurethatmywardlovesyourson,butwillsacrificeherlovetoasenseofdutyandaffection,andwillsacrificeitsocompletely,soentirely,soreligiously,thatyoushouldneversuspectitthoughyouwatchedhernightandday.’ThenItoldherallourstoryoursyoursandmine.’Now,madam,’saidI,’comeyou,knowingthis,andlivewithus.

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