Холодный дом

Perspective

           WoodcourthadcometohercousinJohn’shouseandhadknownusallthere,andbecausehehadalwayslikedRichard,andRichardhadalwayslikedhim,and—andsoforth."Alltrue,"saidAda,"butthatheissuchadevotedfriendtousweowetoyou."Ithoughtitbesttoletmydeargirlhaveherwayandtosaynomoreaboutit.SoIsaidasmuch.Isaiditlightly,becauseIfelthertrembling."Esther,mydearest,Iwanttobeagoodwife,avery,verygoodwifeindeed.Youshallteachme."Iteach!Isaidnomore,forInoticedthehandthatwasflutteringoverthekeys,andIknewthatitwasnotIwhooughttospeak,thatitwasshewhohadsomethingtosaytome."WhenImarriedRichardIwasnotinsensibletowhatwasbeforehim.Ihadbeenperfectlyhappyforalongtimewithyou,andIhadneverknownanytroubleoranxiety,solovedandcaredfor,butIunderstoodthedangerhewasin,dearEsther.""Iknow,Iknow,mydarling.""WhenweweremarriedIhadsomelittlehopethatImightbeabletoconvincehimofhismistake,thathemightcometoregarditinanewwayasmyhusbandandnotpursueitallthemoredesperatelyformysake—ashedoes.ButifIhadnothadthathope,Iwouldhavemarriedhimjustthesame,Esther.Justthesame!"Inthemomentaryfirmnessofthehandthatwasneverstill—afirmnessinspiredbytheutteranceoftheselastwords,anddyingawaywiththem—Isawtheconfirmationofherearnesttones."Youarenottothink,mydearestEsther,thatIfailtoseewhatyouseeandfearwhatyoufear.NoonecanunderstandhimbetterthanIdo.

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