Унесенные ветром

Chapter 38

           IfIputHughinchargeofthenewmillandleaveMr.Johnsonattheoldone,Icanstayintownandseetothesellingwhiletheyhandlethemillingandhauling.UntilIcangetJohnnieI’llhavetoriskMr.JohnsonrobbingmeifIstayintownallthetime.Ifonlyhewasn’tathief!IbelieveI’llbuildalumberyardonhalfthatlotCharlesleftme.IfonlyFrankdidn’thollersoloudaboutmebuildingasaloonontheotherhalf!Well,IshallbuildthesaloonjustassoonasIgetenoughmoneyahead,nomatterhowhetakeson.IfonlyFrankwasn’tsothinskinned.Oh,God,ifonlyIwasn’tgoingtohaveababyatthisofalltimes!InalittlewhileI’llbesobigIcan’tgoout.Oh,God,ifonlyIwasn’tgoingtohaveababy!Andoh,God,ifthedamnedYankeeswillonlyletmealone!If"

           If!If!If!Thereweresomanyifsinlife,neveranycertaintyofanything,neveranysenseofsecurity,alwaysthedreadoflosingeverythingandbeingcoldandhungryagain.Ofcourse,Frankwasmakingalittlemoremoneynow,butFrankwasalwaysailingwithcoldsandfrequentlyforcedtostayinbedfordays.Supposeheshouldbecomeaninvalid.No,shecouldnotaffordtocountonFrankformuch.Shemustnotcountonanythingoranybodybutherself.Andwhatshecouldearnseemedsopitiablysmall.Oh,whatwouldshedoiftheYankeescameandtookitallawayfromher?If!If!If!

           HalfofwhatshemadeeverymonthwenttoWillatTara,parttoRhetttorepayhisloanandtherestshehoarded.

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