Chapter 38

           Scarlettsawitall,livedwithitbyday,tookittobedwithheratnight,dreadingalwayswhatmighthappennext.SheknewthatsheandFrankwerealreadyintheYankees’blackbooks,becauseofTony,anddisastermightdescendonthematanyhour.But,nowofalltimes,shecouldnotaffordtobepushedbacktoherbeginningsnotnowwithababycoming,themilljustcommencingtopayandTaradependingonherformoneyuntilthecottoncameininthefall.Oh,supposesheshouldloseeverything!Supposesheshouldhavetostartalloveragainwithonlyherpunyweaponsagainstthismadworld!TohavetopitherredlipsandgreeneyesandhershrewdshallowbrainagainsttheYankeesandeverythingtheYankeesstoodfor.Wearywithdread,shefeltthatshewouldratherkillherselfthantrytomakeanewbeginning.

           Intheruinandchaosofthatspringof1866,shesinglemindedlyturnedherenergiestomakingthemillpay.TherewasmoneyinAtlanta.Thewaveofrebuildingwasgivinghertheopportunityshewantedandsheknewshecouldmakemoneyifonlyshecouldstayoutofjail.But,shetoldherselftimeandagain,shewouldhavetowalkeasily,gingerly,bemeekunderinsults,yieldingtoinjustices,nevergivingoffensetoanyone,blackorwhite,whomightdoherharm.Shehatedtheimpudentfreenegroesasmuchasanyoneandherfleshcrawledwithfuryeverytimesheheardtheirinsultingremarksandhigh-pitchedlaughterasshewentby.Butsheneverevengavethemaglanceofcontempt.

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