XII

           Themotiveofhisvisittothecemeteryremainedundefinedsaveasafinaleffortofescapefromhiswife’sinexpressiveacceptanceofhisshame.Itseemedtohimthataslongashecouldkeephimselfalivetothatshamehewouldnotwhollyhavesuccumbedtoitsconsequences.Hischieffearwasthatheshouldbecomethecreatureofhisact.Hiswife’sindifferencedegradedhim;itseemedtoputhimonalevelwithhisdishonor.MargaretAubynwouldhaveabhorredthedeedinproportiontoherpityfortheman.Thesenseofherpotentialpitydrewhimbacktoher.Theonewomanknewbutdidnotunderstand;theother,itsometimesseemed,understoodwithoutknowing.

           Initslastdisguiseofretrospectiveremorse,hisself-pityaffectedadesireforsolitudeandmeditation.Helosthimselfinmorbidmusings,infutilevisionsofwhatlifewithMargaretAubynmighthavebeen.Thereweremomentswhen,inthestrangedislocationofhisview,thewronghehaddoneherseemedatiebetweenthem.

           Toindulgetheseemotionshefellintothehabit,onSundayafternoons,ofsolitarywalksprolongedtillafterdusk.Thedayswerelengthening,therewasatouchofspringintheair,andhiswanderingsnowusuallyledhimtotheParkanditsoutlyingregions.

           OneSunday,tiredofaimlesslocomotion,hetookacabattheParkgatesandletitcarryhimouttotheRiversideDrive.Itwasagrayafternoonstreakedwitheastwind.