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XII Apollo's Lyre

           Whenmyownfatherneversawmeandwhenmymother,soasnottoseeme,mademeapresentofmyfirstmask!’

           "Hehadletgoofmeatlastandwasdragginghimselfaboutonthefloor,utteringterriblesobs.Andthenhecrawledawaylikeasnake,wentintohisroom,closedthedoorandleftmealonetomyreflections.PresentlyIheardthesoundoftheorgan;andthenIbegantounderstandErik’scontemptuousphrasewhenhespokeaboutOperamusic.WhatInowheardwasutterlydifferentfromwhatIhadhearduptothen.HisDonJuanTriumphant(forIhadnotadoubtbutthathehadrushedtohismasterpiecetoforgetthehorrorofthemoment)seemedtomeatfirstonelong,awful,magnificentsob.But,littlebylittle,itexpressedeveryemotion,everysufferingofwhichmankindiscapable.Itintoxicatedme;andIopenedthedoorthatseparatedus.Erikrose,asIentered,BUTDAREDNOTTURNINMYDIRECTION.’Erik,’Icried,’showmeyourfacewithoutfear!Iswearthatyouarethemostunhappyandsublimeofmen;and,ifeveragainIshiverwhenIlookatyou,itwillbebecauseIamthinkingofthesplendorofyourgenius!’ThenErikturnedround,forhebelievedme,andIalsohadfaithinmyself.Hefellatmyfeet,withwordsoflove...withwordsofloveinhisdeadmouth...andthemusichadceased...HekissedthehemofmydressanddidnotseethatIclosedmyeyes.

           "WhatmorecanItellyou,dear?Younowknowthetragedy.Itwentonforafortnight—afortnightduringwhichIliedtohim.Mylieswereashideousasthemonsterwhoinspiredthem;buttheywerethepriceofmyliberty.

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