Чувство и чувствительность

Chapter XLVI

           TotheMiddletons,tothePalmers,theSteeles,toeverycommonacquaintanceeven,Ihadbeeninsolentandunjust;withahearthardenedagainsttheirmerits,andatemperirritatedbytheirveryattention.—ToJohn,toFanny,—yes,eventothem,littleastheydeserve,Ihadgivenlessthantheirdue.Butyou,—youaboveall,abovemymother,hadbeenwrongedbyme.I,andonlyI,knewyourheartanditssorrows;yettowhatdiditinfluenceme?—nottoanycompassionthatcouldbenefityouormyself.—Yourexamplewasbeforeme;buttowhatavail?—WasImoreconsiderateofyouandyourcomfort?DidIimitateyourforbearance,orlessenyourrestraints,bytakinganypartinthoseofficesofgeneralcomplaisanceorparticulargratitudewhichyouhadhithertobeenlefttodischargealone?—No;—notlesswhenIknewyoutobeunhappy,thanwhenIhadbelievedyouatease,didIturnawayfromeveryexertionofdutyorfriendship;scarcelyallowingsorrowtoexistbutwithme,regrettingonlythatheartwhichhaddesertedandwrongedme,andleavingyou,forwhomIprofessedanunboundedaffection,tobemiserableformysake."

           Hereceasedtherapidflowofherself-reprovingspirit;andElinor,impatienttosoothe,thoughtoohonesttoflatter,gaveherinstantlythatpraiseandsupportwhichherfranknessandhercontritionsowelldeserved.Mariannepressedherhandandreplied,

           "Youareverygood.—Thefuturemustbemyproof.Ihavelaiddownmyplan,andifIamcapableofadheringtoit—myfeelingsshallbegovernedandmytemperimproved.Theyshallnolongerworryothers,nortorturemyself.

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