Белая птичка
A Confirmed Spinster
Iamnotthatman,formysteryofmysteries,Ilosther.Iknownothowitwas,thoughinthetwilightofmylifethatthenbeganIgropedforreasonsuntilIweariedofmyself;allIknowisthatshehadceasedtoloveme;Ihadwonherlove,butIcouldnotkeepit.Thediscoverycametomeslowly,asifIwereamostdull-wittedman;atfirstIknewonlythatInolongerunderstoodherasofold.Ifoundmyselfwonderingwhatshehadmeantbythisandthat;Ididnotseethatwhenshebegantopuzzlemeshewasalreadylosttome.Itwasasif,unknowing,Ihadstrayedoutsidethemagiccircle.
WhenIdidunderstandItriedtocheatmyselfintothebeliefthattherewasnochange,andthedearheartbleedingformeassistedinthatpoorpretence.Shesoughttoglidetomewithswimmingeyesasbefore,butitshowedonlythatthiscaressingmovementwasstillwithinhercompass,butneveragainforme.Withthehandsshehadpressedtoherbreastshetouchedmine,butnolongercouldtheyconveythemessage.Thecurrentwasbroken,andsoonwehadtodesistmiserablyfromourpretences.ShecouldtellnomorethanIwhyshehadceasedtoloveme;shewasscarcelylessanxiousthanIthatIshouldmakeherlovemeagain,and,asIhavesaid,shewaitedwithawonderfultolerancewhileIstrovefutilelytodiscoverinwhatIwaslackingandtoremedyit.Andwhen,atlast,shehadtoleaveme,itwaswithcompassionatecriesandlittlebackwardflights.
Thefailurewasminealone,butIthinkIshouldnothavebeensoalteredbyithadIknownwhatwasthedefectinmethroughwhichIletherloveescape
