A Confirmed Spinster
Iamindanger,Isee,ofbeingincludedamongthewhimsicalfellows,whichIsolittledesirethatIhavegotmeintomywriting-chairtocombatthecharge,but,havingsatforanunconscionabletimewithpenpoised,Iamcomeagitatedlytothefearthattheremaybesomethinginit.
Solongatimehaselapsed,youmustknow,sinceIabatedoftheardoursofself-inquirythatIrevertinvain(throughmanyrustydoors)forthebeginningofthischangeinme,ifchangedIam;IseemevertoseethissamemanuntilIambackinthosewonderfulmonthswhichwerehalfofmylife,when,indeed,IknowthatIwasotherwisethanIamnow;nowhimsicalfellowthen,forthatwasoneofthepossibilitiesIputtomyselfwhileseekingfortheexplanationofthings,andfoundtobeinadmissible.HavingfailedinthosedaystodiscoverwhyIwasdrivenfromthegarden,IsupposeIceasedtobeenamouredofmyself,asofsomedullpuzzle,andthenperhapsthewhimsicalitiesbegantocollectunnoticed.
Itisapainfulthoughttometo-night,thathecouldwakeupgloriousonce,thismanintheelbow-chairbythefire,whoishumorouslyknownattheclubasa“confirmedspinster.”Irememberhimwellwhenhisyearstoldfourandtwenty;onmysoultheproudestsubalternofmyacquaintance,andwiththemostreasontobeproud.Therewasnothinghemightnotdointhefuture,havingalreadydonethebiggestthing,thistoddlerupclub-stepsto-day.