Тэсс из рода д’Эрбервиллей

Chapter 45

           Butthelossofmymotherhitmemost;andbydegreesIwasbroughttoseedaylight.Sincethenmyonedesirehasbeentohandonthetrueviewtoothers,andthatiswhatIwastryingtodotoday;thoughitisonlylatelythatIhavepreachedhereabout.ThefirstmonthsofmyministryhavebeenspentintheNorthofEnglandamongstrangers,whereIpreferredtomakemyearliestclumsyattempts,soastoacquirecouragebeforeundergoingthatseverestofalltestsofone’ssincerity,addressingthosewhohaveknownone,andhavebeenone’scompanionsinthedaysofdarkness.Ifyoucouldonlyknow,Tess,thepleasureofhavingagoodslapatyourself,Iamsure

           “Don’tgoonwithit!”shecriedpassionately,assheturnedawayfromhimtoastilebythewayside,onwhichshebentherself.“Ican’tbelieveinsuchsuddenthings!Ifeelindignantwithyoufortalkingtomelikethis,whenyouknowwhenyouknowwhatharmyou’vedoneme!You,andthoselikeyou,takeyourfillofpleasureonearthbymakingthelifeofsuchasmebitterandblackwithsorrow;andthenitisafinething,whenyouhavehadenoughofthat,tothinkofsecuringyourpleasureinheavenbybecomingconverted!OutuponsuchIdon’tbelieveinyouIhateit!”

           “Tess,”heinsisted;“don’tspeakso!Itcametomelikeajollynewidea!Andyoudon’tbelieveme?Whatdon’tyoubelieve?”

           “Yourconversion.Yourschemeofreligion.”

           “Why?”

           Shedroppedhervoice.“Becauseabettermanthanyoudoesnotbelieveinsuch.

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