Мидлмарч

Chapter 62

           

           Afteraturnoftheroad,therehewaswiththeportfoliounderhisarm;butthenextmomentshewaspassinghimwhileheraisedhishat,andshefeltapangatbeingseatedthereinasortofexaltation,leavinghimbehind.Shecouldnotlookbackathim.Itwasasifacrowdofindifferentobjectshadthrustthemasunder,andforcedthemalongdifferentpaths,takingthemfartherandfartherawayfromeachother,andmakingituselesstolookback.Shecouldnomoremakeanysignthatwouldseemtosay,"Needwepart?"thanshecouldstopthecarriagetowaitforhim.Nay,whataworldofreasonscrowdeduponheragainstanymovementofherthoughttowardsafuturethatmightreversethedecisionofthisday!

           "IonlywishIhadknownbeforeIwishheknewthenwecouldbequitehappyinthinkingofeachother,thoughweareforeverparted.AndifIcouldbuthavegivenhimthemoney,andmadethingseasierforhim!"—werethelongingsthatcamebackthemostpersistently.Andyet,soheavilydidtheworldweighonherinspiteofherindependentenergy,thatwiththisideaofWillasinneedofsuchhelpandatadisadvantagewiththeworld,therecamealwaysthevisionofthatunfittingnessofanycloserrelationbetweenthemwhichlayintheopinionofeveryoneconnectedwithher.ShefelttothefullalltheimperativenessofthemotiveswhichurgedWill’sconduct

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