Мидлмарч

Chapter 61

           

           Whatiftheactshehadreconciledhimselftobecausetheymadehimastrongerinstrumentofthedivineglory,weretobecomethepretextofthescoffer,andadarkeningofthatglory?IfthisweretobetherulingofProvidence,hewascastoutfromthetempleasonewhohadbroughtuncleanofferings.

           Hehadlongpouredoututterancesofrepentance.Buttodayarepentancehadcomewhichwasofabittererflavor,andathreateningProvidenceurgedhimtoakindofpropitiationwhichwasnotsimplyadoctrinaltransaction.Thedivinetribunalhadchangeditsaspectforhim;self-prostrationwasnolongerenough,andhemustbringrestitutioninhishand.ItwasreallybeforehisGodthatBulstrodewasabouttoattemptsuchrestitutionasseemedpossible:agreatdreadhadseizedhissusceptibleframe,andthescorchingapproachofshamewroughtinhimanewspiritualneed.Nightandday,whiletheresurgentthreateningpastwasmakingaconsciencewithinhim,hewasthinkingbywhatmeanshecouldrecoverpeaceandtrustbywhatsacrificehecouldstaytherod.Hisbeliefinthesemomentsofdreadwas,thatifhespontaneouslydidsomethingright,Godwouldsavehimfromtheconsequencesofwrong-doing.Forreligioncanonlychangewhentheemotionswhichfillitarechanged;andthereligionofpersonalfearremainsnearlyatthelevelofthesavage.

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