Мидлмарч

Chapter 61

           Andnow,whenthisrespectabilityhadlastedundisturbedfornearlythirtyyearswhenallthatprecededithadlonglainbenumbedintheconsciousnessthatpasthadrisenandimmersedhisthoughtasifwiththeterribleirruptionofanewsenseoverburtheningthefeeblebeing.

           Meanwhile,inhisconversationwithRaffles,hehadlearnedsomethingmomentous,somethingwhichenteredactivelyintothestruggleofhislongingsandterrors.There,hethought,layanopeningtowardsspiritual,perhapstowardsmaterialrescue.

           Thespiritualkindofrescuewasagenuineneedwithhim.Theremaybecoarsehypocrites,whoconsciouslyaffectbeliefsandemotionsforthesakeofgullingtheworld,butBulstrodewasnotoneofthem.Hewassimplyamanwhosedesireshadbeenstrongerthanhistheoreticbeliefs,andwhohadgraduallyexplainedthegratificationofhisdesiresintosatisfactoryagreementwiththosebeliefs.Ifthisbehypocrisy,itisaprocesswhichshowsitselfoccasionallyinusall,towhateverconfessionwebelong,andwhetherwebelieveinthefutureperfectionofourraceorinthenearestdatefixedfortheendoftheworld;whetherweregardtheearthasaputrefyingnidusforasavedremnant,includingourselves,orhaveapassionatebeliefinthesolidarityofmankind.

           Theservicehecoulddotothecauseofreligionhadbeenthroughlifethegroundheallegedtohimselfforhischoiceofaction:ithadbeenthemotivewhichhehadpouredoutinhisprayers.

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