Мидлмарч

Chapter 71

           

           Thequickvisionthathislifewasafterallafailure,thathewasadishonoredman,andmustquailbeforetheglanceofthosetowardswhomhehadhabituallyassumedtheattitudeofareprover—thatGodhaddisownedhimbeforemenandlefthimunscreenedtothetriumphantscornofthosewhoweregladtohavetheirhatredjustified—thesenseofutterfutilityinthatequivocationwithhisconscienceindealingwiththelifeofhisaccomplice,anequivocationwhichnowturnedvenomouslyuponhimwiththefull-grownfangofadiscoveredlie:—allthisrushedthroughhimliketheagonyofterrorwhichfailstokill,andleavestheearsstillopentothereturningwaveofexecration.Thesuddensenseofexposureafterthere-establishedsenseofsafetycame—nottothecoarseorganizationofacriminalbutto—thesusceptiblenerveofamanwhoseintensestbeinglayinsuchmasteryandpredominanceastheconditionsofhislifehadshapedforhim.

           Butinthatintensebeinglaythestrengthofreaction.Throughallhisbodilyinfirmitythereranatenaciousnerveofambitiousself-preservingwill,whichhadcontinuallyleapedoutlikeaflame,scatteringalldoctrinalfears,andwhich,evenwhilehesatanobjectofcompassionforthemerciful,wasbeginningtostirandglowunderhisashypaleness.BeforethelastwordswereoutofMr.Hawley’smouth,Bulstrodefeltthatheshouldanswer,andthathisanswerwouldbearetort.

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