Мидлмарч

Chapter 70

           Hewentdownintothewainscotedparlorfirst,andbegantoconsiderwhetherhewouldnothavehishorsesaddledandgohomebythemoonlight,andgiveupcaringforearthlyconsequences.Then,hewishedthathehadbeggedLydgatetocomeagainthatevening.Perhapshemightdeliveradifferentopinion,andthinkthatRaffleswasgettingintoalesshopefulstate.ShouldhesendforLydgate?IfRaffleswerereallygettingworse,andslowlydying,BulstrodefeltthathecouldgotobedandsleepingratitudetoProvidence.Butwasheworse?Lydgatemightcomeandsimplysaythathewasgoingonasheexpected,andpredictthathewouldby-and-byfallintoagoodsleep,andgetwell.Whatwastheuseofsendingforhim?Bulstrodeshrankfromthatresult.Noideasoropinionscouldhinderhimfromseeingtheoneprobabilitytobe,thatRafflesrecoveredwouldbejustthesamemanasbefore,withhisstrengthasatormentorrenewed,obliginghimtodragawayhiswifetospendheryearsapartfromherfriendsandnativeplace,carryinganalienatingsuspicionagainsthiminherheart.

           Hehadsatanhourandahalfinthisconflictbythefirelightonly,whenasuddenthoughtmadehimriseandlightthebed-candle,whichhehadbroughtdownwithhim.Thethoughtwas,thathehadnottoldMrs.Abelwhenthedosesofopiummustcease.

           Hetookholdofthecandlestick,butstoodmotionlessforalongwhile.ShemightalreadyhavegivenhimmorethanLydgatehadprescribed.

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