Мидлмарч

Chapter 68

           Foreseeing,tomenofBulstrode’sanxioustemperament,isoftenworsethanseeing;andhisimaginationcontinuallyheightenedtheanguishofanimminentdisgrace.Yes,imminent;forifhisdefianceofRafflesdidnotkeepthemanawayandthoughheprayedforthisresulthehardlyhopedforitthedisgracewascertain.Invainhesaidtohimselfthat,ifpermitted,itwouldbeadivinevisitation,achastisement,apreparation;herecoiledfromtheimaginedburning;andhejudgedthatitmustbemorefortheDivineglorythatheshouldescapedishonor.ThatrecoilhadatlasturgedhimtomakepreparationsforquittingMiddlemarch.Ifeviltruthmustbereportedofhim,hewouldthenbeatalessscorchingdistancefromthecontemptofhisoldneighbors;andinanewscene,wherehislifewouldnothavegatheredthesamewidesensibility,thetormentor,ifhepursuedhim,wouldbelessformidable.Toleavetheplacefinallywould,heknew,beextremelypainfultohiswife,andonothergroundshewouldhavepreferredtostaywherehehadstruckroot.Hencehemadehispreparationsatfirstinaconditionalway,wishingtoleaveonallsidesanopeningforhisreturnafterbriefabsence,ifanyfavorableinterventionofProvidenceshoulddissipatehisfears.HewaspreparingtotransferhismanagementoftheBank,andtogiveupanyactivecontrolofothercommercialaffairsintheneighborhood,onthegroundofhisfailinghealth,butwithoutexcludinghisfutureresumptionofsuchwork.

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