Мидлмарч

Chapter 64

           Hewasnotanill-temperedman;hisintellectualactivity,theardentkindnessofhisheart,aswellashisstrongframe,wouldalways,undertolerablyeasyconditions,havekepthimabovethepettyuncontrolledsusceptibilitieswhichmakebadtemper.Buthewasnowapreytothatworstirritationwhicharisesnotsimplyfromannoyances,butfromthesecondconsciousnessunderlyingthoseannoyances,ofwastedenergyandadegradingpreoccupation,whichwasthereverseofallhisformerpurposes."THISiswhatIamthinkingof;andTHATiswhatImighthavebeenthinkingof,"wasthebitterincessantmurmurwithinhim,makingeverydifficultyadoublegoadtoimpatience.

           Somegentlemenhavemadeanamazingfigureinliteraturebygeneraldiscontentwiththeuniverseasatrapofdulnessintowhichtheirgreatsoulshavefallenbymistake;butthesenseofastupendousselfandaninsignificantworldmayhaveitsconsolations.Lydgate’sdiscontentwasmuchhardertobear:itwasthesensethattherewasagrandexistenceinthoughtandeffectiveactionlyingaroundhim,whilehisselfwasbeingnarrowedintothemiserableisolationofegoisticfears,andvulgaranxietiesforeventsthatmightallaysuchfears.Histroubleswillperhapsappearmiserablysordid,andbeneaththeattentionofloftypersonswhocanknownothingofdebtexceptonamagnificentscale.

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