Паразит
IV
Sheletsmelooseonlytopounceuponmeagain.Iamneversofrightenedaswheneverythingisstill.Myphysicalstateisdeplorable—perpetualhiccoughandptosisofthelefteyelid.IhaveheardfromtheMardensthattheywillbebackthedayafterto-morrow.IdonotknowwhetherIamgladorsorry.TheyweresafeinLondon.OnceheretheymaybedrawnintothemiserablenetworkinwhichIammyselfstruggling.AndImusttellthemofit.IcannotmarryAgathasolongasIknowthatIamnotresponsibleformyownactions.Yes,Imusttellthem,evenifitbringseverythingtoanendbetweenus.To-nightistheuniversityball,andImustgo.GodknowsIneverfeltlessinthehumorforfestivity,butImustnothaveitsaidthatIamunfittoappearinpublic.IfIamseenthere,andhavespeechwithsomeoftheeldersoftheuniversityitwillgoalongwaytowardshowingthemthatitwouldbeunjusttotakemychairawayfromme.10P.M.Ihavebeentotheball.CharlesSadlerandIwenttogether,butIhavecomeawaybeforehim.Ishallwaitupforhim,however,for,indeed,Ifeartogotosleepthesenights.Heisacheery,practicalfellow,andachatwithhimwillsteadymynerves.Onthewhole,theeveningwasagreatsuccess.Italkedtoeveryonewhohasinfluence,andIthinkthatImadethemrealizethatmychairisnotvacantquiteyet.Thecreaturewasattheball—unabletodance,ofcourse,butsittingwithMrs.Wilson.Againandagainhereyesresteduponme.TheywerealmostthelastthingsIsawbeforeIlefttheroom.