IV
6.45P.M.No,itisuseless.Thereisnohumanhelpforme;Imustfightthisoutsingle-handed.Twocoursesliebeforeme.Imightbecomethiswoman’slover.OrImustenduresuchpersecutionsasshecaninflictuponme.Evenifnonecome,Ishallliveinahellofapprehension.Butshemaytortureme,shemaydrivememad,shemaykillme:Iwillnever,never,nevergivein.WhatcansheinflictwhichwouldbeworsethanthelossofAgatha,andtheknowledgethatIamaperjuredliar,andhaveforfeitedthenameofgentleman?Pratt-Haldanewasmostamiable,andlistenedwithallpolitenesstomystory.ButwhenIlookedathisheavysetfeatures,hissloweyes,andtheponderousstudyfurniturewhichsurroundedhim,IcouldhardlytellhimwhatIhadcometosay.Itwasallsosubstantial,somaterial.And,besides,whatwouldImyselfhavesaidashortmonthagoifoneofmycolleagueshadcometomewithastoryofdemonicpossession?Perhaps.Ishouldhavebeenlesspatientthanhewas.Asitwas,hetooknotesofmystatement,askedmehowmuchteaIdrank,howmanyhoursIslept,whetherIhadbeenoverworkingmuch,hadIhadsuddenpainsinthehead,evildreams,singingintheears,flashesbeforetheeyes—allquestionswhichpointedtohisbeliefthatbraincongestionwasatthebottomofmytrouble.Finallyhedismissedmewithagreatmanyplatitudesaboutopen-airexercise,andavoidanceofnervousexcitement.Hisprescription,whichwasforchloralandbromide,Irolledupandthrewintothegutter.No,Icanlookfornohelpfromanyhumanbeing.