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Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller’s Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and wen

           Uponthesewerelaidknivesandforksforsixoreightpeople.Someoftheknifehandlesweregreen,othersred,andafewyellow;andasalltheforkswereblack,thecombinationofcolourswasexceedinglystriking.Platesforacorrespondingnumberofguestswerewarmingbehindthefender;andthegueststhemselveswerewarmingbeforeit:thechiefandmostimportantofwhomappearedtobeastoutishgentlemaninabrightcrimsoncoatwithlongtails,vividlyredbreeches,andacockedhat,whowasstandingwithhisbacktothefire,andhadapparentlyjustentered,forbesidesretaininghiscockedhatonhishead,hecarriedinhishandahighstick,suchasgentlemenofhisprofessionusuallyelevateinaslopingpositionovertheroofsofcarriages.

           ‘Smauker,mylad,yourfin,’saidthegentlemanwiththecockedhat.

           Mr.Smaukerdovetailedthetopjointofhisright-handlittlefingerintothatofthegentlemanwiththecockedhat,andsaidhewascharmedtoseehimlookingsowell.

           ‘Well,theytellmeIamlookingprettyblooming,’saidthemanwiththecockedhat,‘andit’sawonder,too.I’vebeenfollowingouroldwomanabout,twohoursaday,forthelastfortnight;andifaconstantcontemplationofthemannerinwhichshehooks-and-eyesthatinfernallavender-colouredoldgownofhersbehind,isn’tenoughtothrowanybodyintoalowstateofdespondencyforlife,stopmyquarter’ssalary.

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