Посмертные записки Пиквикского клуба

Describes, far more fully than the Court Newsman ever did, a Bachelor’s Party, given by Mr. Bob Sawy

           Firstofall,itwasnecessarytoawakenthegirl,whohadfallenasleepwithherfaceonthekitchentable;thistookalittletime,and,evenwhenshedidanswerthebell,anotherquarterofanhourwasconsumedinfruitlessendeavourstoimparttoherafaintanddistantglimmeringofreason.Themantowhomtheorderfortheoystershadbeensent,hadnotbeentoldtoopenthem;itisaverydifficultthingtoopenanoysterwithalimpknifeandatwo-prongedfork;andverylittlewasdoneinthisway.Verylittleofthebeefwasdoneeither;andtheham(whichwasalsofromtheGerman-sausageshoproundthecorner)wasinasimilarpredicament.However,therewasplentyofporterinatincan;andthecheesewentagreatway,foritwasverystrong.Souponthewhole,perhaps,thesupperwasquiteasgoodassuchmattersusuallyare.

           Aftersupper,anotherjugofpunchwasputuponthetable,togetherwithapaperofcigars,andacoupleofbottlesofspirits.Thentherewasanawfulpause;andthisawfulpausewasoccasionedbyaverycommonoccurrenceinthissortofplace,butaveryembarrassingonenotwithstanding.

           Thefactis,thegirlwaswashingtheglasses.Theestablishmentboastedfour:wedonotrecordthecircumstanceasatallderogatorytoMrs.Raddle,forthereneverwasalodging-houseyet,thatwasnotshortofglasses.

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