Ярмарок марнославства

In Which Jos Takes Flight, and the War Is Brought to a Close

           TheyWILLmistakemeforamilitaryman,thoughthe,rememberingIsidor’swarningastothemassacrewithwhichallthedefeatedBritisharmywasthreatened;andstaggeringbacktohisbedchamber,hebeganwildlypullingthebellwhichsummonedhisvalet.

           Isidoransweredthatsummons.Joshadsunkinachairhehadtornoffhisneckcloths,andturneddownhiscollars,andwassittingwithbothhishandsliftedtohisthroat.

           "Coupez-moi,Isidor,"shoutedhe;"vite!Coupez-moi!"

           Isidorthoughtforamomenthehadgonemad,andthathewishedhisvalettocuthisthroat.

           "Lesmoustaches,"gaspedJoe;"lesmoustachescoupy,rasy,vite!"—hisFrenchwasofthissortvoluble,aswehavesaid,butnotremarkableforgrammar.

           Isidorsweptoffthemustachiosinnotimewiththerazor,andheardwithinexpressibledelighthismaster’sordersthatheshouldfetchahatandaplaincoat."Neportyploohabitmilitairbonnbonnyavoo,prennydehors"—wereJos’swordsthecoatandcapwereatlasthisproperty.

           Thisgiftbeingmade,Josselectedaplainblackcoatandwaistcoatfromhisstock,andputonalargewhiteneckcloth,andaplainbeaver.Ifhecouldhavegotashovelhathewouldhavewornit.Asitwas,youwouldhavefanciedhewasaflourishing,largeparsonoftheChurchofEngland.

           "Vennymaintenong,"hecontinued,"sweevyallypartydonglaroo.

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