Ярмарок марнославства

In Which Amelia Invades the Low Countries

           O’Dowdhadacock’splumeinherhat,andaverylarge"repayther"onherstomach,whichsheusedtoringonalloccasions,narratinghowithadbeenpresentedtoherbyherfawther,asshestiptintothecar’geafterhermar’ge;andtheseornaments,withotheroutwardpeculiaritiesoftheMajor’swife,gaveexcruciatingagoniestoCaptainOsborne,whenhiswifeandtheMajor’scameincontact;whereasAmeliawasonlyamusedbythehonestlady’seccentricities,andnotintheleastashamedofhercompany.

           Astheymadethatwell-knownjourney,whichalmosteveryEnglishmanofmiddlerankhastravelledsince,theremighthavebeenmoreinstructive,butfewmoreentertaining,companionsthanMrs.MajorO’Dowd."Talkaboutkenalboats;mydear!YeshouldseethekenalboatsbetweenDublinandBallinasloe.It’stheretherapidtravellingis;andthebeautifulcattle.Suremefawthergotagooldmedal(andhisExcellencyhimselfeatasliceofit,andsaidneverwasfinermateinhisloif)forafour-year-oldheifer,thelikeofwhichyeneversawinthiscountryanyday."AndJosownedwithasigh,"thatforgoodstreakybeef,reallymingledwithfatandlean,therewasnocountrylikeEngland."

           "ExceptIreland,whereallyourbestmatecomesfrom,"saidtheMajor’slady;proceeding,asisnotunusualwithpatriotsofhernation,tomakecomparisonsgreatlyinfavourofherowncountry.

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