Ярмарок марнославства

Private and Confidential

           Iamnotajudgeofale,butIcansaywithaclearconscienceIpreferwater.

           Whilewewereenjoyingourrepast,SirPitttookoccasiontoaskwhathadbecomeoftheshouldersofthemutton.

           "Ibelievetheywereeatenintheservants’hall,"saidmylady,humbly.

           "Theywas,mylady,"saidHorrocks,"andpreciouslittleelsewegetthereneither."

           SirPittburstintoahorse-laugh,andcontinuedhisconversationwithMr.Horrocks."ThattherelittleblackpigoftheKentsow’sbreedmustbeuncommonfatnow."

           "It’snotquitebusting,SirPitt,"saidthebutlerwiththegravestair,atwhichSirPitt,andwithhimtheyoungladies,thistime,begantolaughviolently.

           "MissCrawley,MissRoseCrawley,"saidMr.Crawley,"yourlaughterstrikesmeasbeingexceedinglyoutofplace."

           "Nevermind,mylord,"saidtheBaronet,"we’lltrytheporkeronSaturday.KillunonSaturdaymorning,JohnHorrocks.MissSharpadorespork,don’tyou,MissSharp?"

           AndIthinkthisisalltheconversationthatIrememberatdinner.WhentherepastwasconcludedajugofhotwaterwasplacedbeforeSirPitt,withacase-bottlecontaining,Ibelieve,rum.Mr.Horrocksservedmyselfandmypupilswiththreelittleglassesofwine,andabumperwaspouredoutformylady.Whenweretired,shetookfromherwork-draweranenormousinterminablepieceofknitting;theyoungladiesbegantoplayatcribbagewithadirtypackofcards.

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