Ярмарок марнославства

Private and Confidential

           "IcallthedogGorer,"saidSirPitt;"he’skilledamanthatdoghas,andismasterofabull,andthemotherIusedtocallFlora;butnowIcallsherAroarer,forshe’stoooldtobite.Haw,haw!"

           BeforethehouseofQueen’sCrawley,whichisanodiousold-fashionedredbrickmansion,withtallchimneysandgablesofthestyleofQueenBess,thereisaterraceflankedbythefamilydoveandserpent,andonwhichthegreathall-dooropens.Andoh,mydear,thegreathallIamsureisasbigandasglumasthegreathallinthedearcastleofUdolpho.Ithasalargefireplace,inwhichwemightputhalfMissPinkerton’sschool,andthegrateisbigenoughtoroastanoxattheveryleast.RoundtheroomhangIdon’tknowhowmanygenerationsofCrawleys,somewithbeardsandruffs,somewithhugewigsandtoesturnedout,somedressedinlongstraightstaysandgownsthatlookasstiffastowers,andsomewithlongringlets,andoh,mydear!scarcelyanystaysatall.Atoneendofthehallisthegreatstaircaseallinblackoak,asdismalasmaybe,andoneithersidearetalldoorswithstags’headsoverthem,leadingtothebilliard-roomandthelibrary,andthegreatyellowsaloonandthemorning-rooms.Ithinkthereareatleasttwentybedroomsonthefirstfloor;oneofthemhasthebedinwhichQueenElizabethslept;andIhavebeentakenbymynewpupilsthroughallthesefineapartmentsthismorning.

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