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Foo-foo the First

           Thenallflungthemselvesupontheirkneesabouthimandsentupachorusofironicalwailings,andmockingsupplications,whilsttheyswabbedtheireyeswiththeirsoiledandraggedsleevesandaprons

           

           "Begracioustous,OsweetKing!"

           "Tramplenotuponthybeseechingworms,OnobleMajesty!"

           "Pitythyslaves,andcomfortthemwitharoyalkick!"

           "Cheerusandwarmuswiththygraciousrays,Oflamingsunofsovereignty!"

           "Sanctifythegroundwiththetouchofthyfoot,thatwemayeatthedirtandbeennobled!"

           "Deigntospituponus,OSire,thatourchildren’schildrenmaytellofthyprincelycondescension,andbeproudandhappyforever!"

           Butthehumoroustinkermadethe‘hit’oftheeveningandcarriedoffthehonours.Kneeling,hepretendedtokisstheKing’sfoot,andwasindignantlyspurned;whereuponhewentaboutbeggingforaragtopasteovertheplaceuponhisfacewhichhadbeentouchedbythefoot,sayingitmustbepreservedfromcontactwiththevulgarair,andthatheshouldmakehisfortunebygoingonthehighwayandexposingittoviewattherateofahundredshillingsasight.Hemadehimselfsokillinglyfunnythathewastheenvyandadmirationofthewholemangyrabble.

           Tearsofshameandindignationstoodinthelittlemonarch’seyes;andthethoughtinhisheartwas,"HadIofferedthemadeepwrongtheycouldnotbemorecruelyethaveIprofferednoughtbuttodothemakindnessanditisthustheyusemeforit!"

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