Her Majesty’s Servants

           YoucanworkitoutbyFractionsorbysimpleRuleofThree,

           ButthewayofTweedle-dumisnotthewayofTweedle-dee.

           Youcantwistit,youcanturnit,youcanplaitittillyoudrop,

           ButthewayofPillyWinky’snotthewayofWinkiePop!

           Ithadbeenrainingheavilyforonewholemonth—rainingonacampofthirtythousandmenandthousandsofcamels,elephants,horses,bullocks,andmulesallgatheredtogetherataplacecalledRawalPindi,tobereviewedbytheViceroyofIndia.HewasreceivingavisitfromtheAmirofAfghanistan—awildkingofaverywildcountry.TheAmirhadbroughtwithhimforabodyguardeighthundredmenandhorseswhohadneverseenacamporalocomotivebeforeintheirlives—savagemenandsavagehorsesfromsomewhereatthebackofCentralAsia.Everynightamobofthesehorseswouldbesuretobreaktheirheelropesandstampedeupanddownthecampthroughthemudinthedark,orthecamelswouldbreaklooseandrunaboutandfallovertheropesofthetents,andyoucanimaginehowpleasantthatwasformentryingtogotosleep.Mytentlayfarawayfromthecamellines,andIthoughtitwassafe.Butonenightamanpoppedhisheadinandshouted,"Getout,quick!They’recoming!Mytent’sgone!"

           Iknewwho"they"were,soIputonmybootsandwaterproofandscuttledoutintotheslush.LittleVixen,myfoxterrier,wentoutthroughtheotherside;andthentherewasaroaringandagruntingandbubbling,andIsawthetentcavein,asthepolesnapped,andbegintodanceaboutlikeamadghost.