Білі люди
Chapter III
Iwastogotohishousetospendaweekormore,attendaDrawing-Room,andshowmyselfatafewgreatpartiesinapropermanner,thisbeingconsideredmydutytowardmyrelatives.These,Ibelieve,weresecretlyafraidthatifIwereneverseentheirworldwouldcondemnmyguardianforneglectofhischarge,orwoulddecidethatIwasofunsoundmindandintentionallykepthiddenawayatMuircarrie.Hewasanhonorableman,andhiswifewasawell-meaningwoman.Ididnotwishtodothemaninjustice,soIpaidthemyearlyvisitsandtriedtobehaveastheywished,muchasIdislikedtobedressedinfinefrocksandtoweardiamondsonmylittleheadandroundmythinneck.
ItwasanoddthingthatthistimeIfoundIdidnotdreadthevisittoLondonasmuchasIusuallydid.ForsomeunknownreasonIbecameconsciousthatIwasnotreallyreluctanttogo.Usuallythethoughtofthedaysbeforememademerestlessandlow-spirited.Londonalwaysseemedsoconfusedandcrowded,andmademefeelasifIwerebeingpushedandjostledbyamobalwaysmakingatiresomenoise.ButthistimeIfeltasifIshouldsomehowfindaclearplacetostandin,whereIcouldlookonandlistenwithoutbeingbewildered.Itwasacuriousfeeling;Icouldnothelpnoticingandwonderingaboutit.
Iknewafterwardthatitcametomebecauseachangewasdrawingnear.IwishsomuchthatIcouldtellaboutitinabetterway.ButIhaveonlymyownway,whichIamafraidseemsverylikeaschool-girl’s.
JeanBraidfutemadethejourneywithme,asshealwaysdid,anditwaslikeeveryotherjourney.
