Білі люди
Chapter III
IknewIdidnotlookwellwhenIworebeautifulclothes.Iwaslittleandunimportantandlikeareedforthinness.BecauseIwasrichandasortofchieftainessIoughttohavebeentallandratherstately,oratleastIoughttohavehadabearingwhichwouldhavemadeitimpossibleforpeopletoquiteoverlookme.But;anyonecouldoverlookme—aninsignificant,thingirlwhoslippedinandoutofplacesandsatandstaredandlistenedtootherpeopleinsteadofsayingthingsherself;Ilikedtolookonandbeforgotten.Itinterestedmetowatchpeopleiftheydidnotnoticeme.
Ofcourse,myrelativesdidnotreallylikeme.Howcouldthey?Theywerebusyintheirbigworldanddidnotknowwhattodowithagirlwhooughttohavebeenimportantandwasnot.IamsurethatinsecrettheywererelievedwhenIwassentbacktoMuircarrie.
AfterthatthelifeIlovedwentonquietly.IstudiedwithAngus,andmadethebook-walledlibrarymyownroom.Iwalkedandrodeonthemoor,andIknewthepeoplewholivedinthecottagesandfarmsontheestate.Ithinktheylikedme,butIamnotsure,becauseIwastooshytoseemveryfriendly.IwasmoreathomewithFeargus,thepiper,andwithsomeofthegardenersthanIwaswithanyoneelse.IthinkIwaslonelywithoutknowing;butIwasneverunhappy.JeanandAngusweremynearestanddearest.Jeanwasofgoodbloodandastanchgentlewoman,quitesufficientlyeducatedtobemycompanionasshehadbeenmyearlygoverness.
ItwasJeanwhotoldAngusthatIwasgivingmyselftooentirelytothestudyofancientbooksandthehistoryofcenturiesgoneby.
