До Адама

           AlreadyhadIdevelopedreticenceconcerningthisqualityofmine,thissemi-disassociationofpersonalityasIthinkIamjustifiedincallingit.

           Isawthesnake-charmer,andnomoreofthecircusdidIseethatnight.Iwastakenhome,nervousandoverwrought,sickwiththeinvasionofmyreallifebythatotherlifeofmydreams.

           Ihavementionedmyreticence.OnlyoncedidIconfidethestrangenessofitalltoanother.Hewasaboy—mychum;andwewereeightyearsold.FrommydreamsIreconstructedforhimpicturesofthatvanishedworldinwhichIdobelieveIoncelived.Itoldhimoftheterrorsofthatearlytime,ofLop-Earandthepranksweplayed,ofthegibberingcouncils,andoftheFirePeopleandtheirsquattingplaces.

           Helaughedatme,andjeered,andtoldmetalesofghostsandofthedeadthatwalkatnight.Butmostlydidhelaughatmyfeeblefancy.Itoldhimmore,andhelaughedtheharder.Isworeinallearnestnessthatthesethingswereso,andhebegantolookuponmequeerly.Also,hegaveamazinggarblingsofmytalestoourplaymates,untilallbegantolookuponmequeerly.

           Itwasabitterexperience,butIlearnedmylesson.Iwasdifferentfrommykind.Iwasabnormalwithsomethingtheycouldnotunderstand,andthetellingofwhichwouldcauseonlymisunderstanding.Whenthestoriesofghostsandgoblinswentaround,Ikeptquiet.Ismiledgrimlytomyself.Ithoughtofmynightsoffear,andknewthatmineweretherealthings—realaslifeitself,notattenuatedvaporsandsurmisedshadows.

           Formenoterrorsresidedinthethoughtofbugaboosandwickedogres