Дні мрій
The Magic Ring
IntheearlymorningHaroldandI,oncefullyawake,cross-examinedeachotherastothepossibilitiesofthisorthatcircustradition,andexhaustedthelorelongerethefirsthousemaidwasstirring.Inthisstateofexaltationweslippedonwardtowhatpromisedtobeadayofallwhitedays—whichbringsmerightbacktomytext,thatgrown-uppeoplereallyoughttobemorecareful.
Ihadknownitcouldneverreallybe;Ihadsaidsotomyselfadozentimes.Thevisionwastoosweetlyetherealforembodiment.
Yetthepangofthedisillusionmentwasnonethelesskeenandsickening,andthepainwasasthatofacorporealwound.Itseemedstrangeandforeboding,whenweenteredthebreakfast-room,nottofindeverybodycrackingwhips,jumpingoverchairs,andwhooping.Inecstaticrehearsalofthewildrealitytocome.
Thesituationbecamegrimandpallidindeed,whenIcaughttheexpressions“garden-party”and“mymauvetulle,”andrealizedthattheybothreferredtothatveryafternoon.Andeveryminute,asIsatsilentandlistened,myheartsanklowerandlower,descendingrelentlesslylikeaclock-weightintomybootsoles.
ThroughoutmyagonyIneverdreamedofresortingtoadirectquestion,muchlessareproach.Evenduringtheperiodofjoyfulanticipationsomefearofbreakingthespellhadkeptmefromanybaldcircustalkinthepresenceofthem.ButHarold,whowasbuiltinquiteanotherway,sosoonashediscernedthedriftoftheirconversationandheardtheknellofallhishopes,filledtheroomwithwailandclamourofbereavement.