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I
Thatsneeringyoungcubgottakendownapegortwoonthatoccasion,andIalsoseizedtheopportunityofhavingagoodlookatthefaceofeveryforemastmanastheyfiledpastmetogototheafterbraces.Atbreakfasttime,eatingnothingmyself,Ipresidedwithsuchfrigiddignitythatthetwomateswereonlytoogladtoescapefromthecabinassoonasdecencypermitted;andallthetimethedualworkingofmyminddistractedmealmosttothepointofinsanity.Iwasconstantlywatchingmyself,mysecretself,asdependentonmyactionsasmyownpersonality,sleepinginthatbed,behindthatdoorwhichfacedmeasIsatattheheadofthetable.Itwasverymuchlikebeingmad,onlyitwasworsebecauseonewasawareofit.
Ihadtoshakehimforasolidminute,butwhenatlastheopenedhiseyesitwasinthefullpossessionofhissenses,withaninquiringlook.
“All’swellsofar,”Iwhispered.“Nowyoumustvanishintothebathroom.”
Hedidso,asnoiselessasaghost,andthenIrangforthesteward,andfacinghimboldly,directedhimtotidyupmystateroomwhileIwashavingmybath—“andbequickaboutit.”Asmytoneadmittedofnoexcuses,hesaid,“Yes,sir,”andranofftofetchhisdustpanandbrushes.Itookabathanddidmostofmydressing,splashing,andwhistlingsoftlyforthesteward’sedification,whilethesecretsharerofmylifestooddrawnupboltuprightinthatlittlespace,hisfacelookingverysunkenindaylight,hiseyelidsloweredunderthestern,darklineofhiseyebrowsdrawntogetherbyaslightfrown.
