Chapter 10

           November16.—Wokeabouttwentytimesduringthenight,withterriblethirst.Finishedoffallthewaterinthebottle,aswellashalfthatinthejug.Keptdreamingalso,thatlastnight’spartywasafailure,andthatalotoflowpeoplecamewithoutinvitation,andkeptchaffingandthrowingthingsatMr.Perkupp,tillatlastIwasobligedtohidehiminthebox-room(whichwehadjustdiscovered),withabath-toweloverhim.Itseemsabsurdnow,butitwaspainfullyrealinthedream.Ihadthesamedreamaboutadozentimes.

           Carrieannoyedmebysaying:“Youknowchampagneneveragreeswithyou.”ItoldherIhadonlyacoupleofglassesofit,havingkeptmyselfentirelytoport.Iaddedthatgoodchampagnehurtnobody,andLupintoldmehehadonlygotitfromatravellerasafavour,asthatparticularbrandhadbeenentirelyboughtupbyaWest–Endclub.

           IthinkIatetooheartilyofthe“sidedishes,”asthewaitercalledthem.IsaidtoCarrie:“IwishIhadputthose‘sidedishes’aside.”Irepeatedthis,butCarriewasbusy,packinguptheteaspoonswehadborrowedofMrs.Cummingsfortheparty.Itwasjusthalf-pasteleven,andIwasstartingfortheoffice,whenLupinappeared,withayellowcomplexion,andsaid:“Hulloh!Guv.,whatpricedheadhaveyouthismorning?”ItoldhimhemightjustaswellspeaktomeinDutch.Headded:“WhenIwokethismorning,myheadwasasbigasBaldwin’sballoon.”OnthespurofthemomentIsaidthecleverestthingIthinkIhaveeversaid;viz.