Щоденник незначної особи

           Intheevening,CummingsunexpectedlydroppedintoshowmeameerschaumpipehehadwoninaraffleintheCity,andtoldmetohandleitcarefully,asitwouldspoilthecolouringifthehandwasmoist.Hesaidhewouldn’tstay,ashedidn’tcaremuchforthesmellofthepaint,andfelloverthescraperashewentout.Mustgetthescraperremoved,orelseIshallgetintoascrape.Idon’toftenmakejokes.

           April5.—Twoshouldersofmuttonarrived,Carriehavingarrangedwithanotherbutcherwithoutconsultingme.Gowingcalled,andfelloverscrapercomingin.Mustgetthatscraperremoved.

           April6.—Eggsforbreakfastsimplyshocking;sentthembacktoBorsetwithmycompliments,andheneedn’tcallanymorefororders.Couldn’tfindumbrella,andthoughitwaspouringwithrain,hadtogowithoutit.SarahsaidMr.Gowingmusthavetookitbymistakelastnight,astherewasastickinthe‘allthatdidn’tbelongtonobody.Intheevening,hearingsomeonetalkinginaloudvoicetotheservantinthedownstairshall,Iwentouttoseewhoitwas,andwassurprisedtofinditwasBorset,thebutterman,whowasbothdrunkandoffensive.Borset,onseeingme,saidhewouldbehangedifhewouldeverserveCityclerksanymore—thegamewasn’tworththecandle.Irestrainedmyfeelings,andquietlyremarkedthatIthoughtitwaspossibleforacityclerktobeagentleman.Herepliedhewasverygladtohearit,andwantedtoknowwhetherIhadevercomeacrossone,forhehadn’t.