Голод
Part I
Therewasalwayssomethingoranotherinmyway.IhadevenofferedtoenlistintheFireBrigade.Therewestoodandwaitedinthevestibule,somehalf-hundredmen,thrustingourchestsouttogiveanideaofstrengthandbravery,whilstaninspectorwalkedupanddownandscannedtheapplicants,felttheirarms,andputonequestionoranothertothem.Me,hepassedby,merelyshakinghishead,sayingIwasrejectedonaccountofmysight.Iappliedagainwithoutmyglasses,stoodtherewithknittedbrows,andmademyeyesassharpasneedles,butthemanpassedmebyagainwithasmile;hehadrecognizedme.And,worsethanall,Icouldnolongerapplyforasituationinthegarbofarespectableman.
Howregularlyandsteadilythingshadgonedownhillwithmeforalongtime,till,intheend,Iwassocuriouslybaredofeveryconceivablething.Ihadnotevenacombleft,notevenabooktoread,whenthingsgrewalltoosadwithme.Allthroughthesummer,upinthechurchyardsorparks,whereIusedtositandwritemyarticlesforthenewspapers,Ihadthoughtoutcolumnaftercolumnonthemostmiscellaneoussubjects.Strangeideas,quaintfancies,conceitsofmyrestlessbrain;indespairIhadoftenchosenthemostremotethemes,thatcostmelonghoursofintenseeffort,andneverwereaccepted.WhenonepiecewasfinishedIsettoworkatanother.Iwasnotoftendiscouragedbytheeditors’"no.
