Кармілла
Her Habits — A Saunter
"Arewerelated,"Iusedtoask;"whatcanyoumeanbyallthis?Iremindyouperhapsofsomeonewhomyoulove;butyoumustnot,Ihateit;Idon’tknowyou—Idon’tknowmyselfwhenyoulooksoandtalkso."
Sheusedtosighatmyvehemence,thenturnawayanddropmyhand.
RespectingtheseveryextraordinarymanifestationsIstroveinvaintoformanysatisfactorytheory—Icouldnotreferthemtoaffectationortrick.Itwasunmistakablythemomentarybreakingoutofsuppressedinstinctandemotion.Wasshe,notwithstandinghermother’svolunteereddenial,subjecttobriefvisitationsofinsanity;orwastherehereadisguiseandaromance?Ihadreadinoldstorybooksofsuchthings.Whatifaboyishloverhadfoundhiswayintothehouse,andsoughttoprosecutehissuitinmasquerade,withtheassistanceofacleveroldadventuress.Butthereweremanythingsagainstthishypothesis,highlyinterestingasitwastomyvanity.
Icouldboastofnolittleattentionssuchasmasculinegallantrydelightstooffer.Betweenthesepassionatemomentstherewerelongintervalsofcommonplace,ofgaiety,ofbroodingmelancholy,duringwhich,exceptthatIdetectedhereyessofullofmelancholyfire,followingme,attimesImighthavebeenasnothingtoher.Exceptinthesebriefperiodsofmysteriousexcitementherwaysweregirlish;andtherewasalwaysalanguorabouther,quiteincompatiblewithamasculinesysteminastateofhealth.
Insomerespectsherhabitswereodd.
