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The Gun Club
"Itwasdelightfulonceuponatime!Oneinventedagun,andhardlywasitcast,whenonehastenedtotryitinthefaceoftheenemy!ThenonereturnedtocampwithawordofencouragementfromShermanorafriendlyshakeofthehandfromMcClellan.Butnowthegeneralsaregonebacktotheircounters;andinplaceofprojectiles,theydespatchbalesofcotton.ByJove,thefutureofgunneryinAmericaislost!"
"Ay!andnowarinprospect!"continuedthefamousJamesT.Maston,scratchingwithhissteelhookhisgutta-perchacranium."Notacloudonthehorizon!andthattooatsuchacriticalperiodintheprogressofthescienceofartillery!Yes,gentlemen!Iwhoaddressyouhavemyselfthisverymorningperfectedamodel(plan,section,elevation,etc.)ofamortardestinedtochangealltheconditionsofwarfare!"
"No!isitpossible?"repliedTomHunter,histhoughtsrevertinginvoluntarilytoaformerinventionoftheHon.J.T.Maston,bywhich,atitsfirsttrial,hehadsucceededinkillingthreehundredandthirty-sevenpeople.
"Fact!"repliedhe."Still,whatistheuseofsomanystudiesworkedout,somanydifficultiesvanquished?It’smerewasteoftime!TheNewWorldseemstohavemadeupitsmindtoliveinpeace;andourbellicoseTribunepredictssomeapproachingcatastrophesarisingoutofthisscandalousincreaseofpopulation."
"Nevertheless,"repliedColonelBlomsberry,"theyarealwaysstrugglinginEuropetomaintaintheprincipleofnationalities."
