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A Monster Meeting
Onthesurfaceofourunhappyspheroidwearealwayseithertoohotortoocold;wearefrozeninwinter,broiledinsummer;itistheplanetofrheumatism,coughs,bronchitis;whileonthesurfaceofJupiter,forexample,wheretheaxisisbutslightlyinclined,theinhabitantsmayenjoyuniformtemperatures.Itpossesseszonesofperpetualsprings,summers,autumns,andwinters;everyJovianmaychooseforhimselfwhatclimatehelikes,andtherespendthewholeofhislifeinsecurityfromallvariationsoftemperature.Youwill,Iamsure,readilyadmitthissuperiorityofJupiteroverourownplanet,tosaynothingofhisyears,whicheachequaltwelveofours!Undersuchauspicesandsuchmarvelousconditionsofexistence,itappearstomethattheinhabitantsofsofortunateaworldmustbeineveryrespectsuperiortoourselves.Allwerequire,inordertoattainsuchperfection,isthemeretrifleofhavinganaxisofrotationlessinclinedtotheplaneofitsorbit!"
"Hurrah!"roaredanenergeticvoice,"letusuniteourefforts,inventthenecessarymachines,andrectifytheearth’saxis!"
Athunderofapplausefollowedthisproposal,theauthorofwhichwas,ofcourse,nootherthanJ.T.Maston.And,inallprobability,ifthetruthmustbetold,iftheYankeescouldonlyhavefoundapointofapplicationforit,theywouldhaveconstructedalevercapableofraisingtheearthandrectifyingitsaxis.Itwasjustthisdeficiencywhichbaffledthesedaringmechanicians.