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The Columbiad

           Abasketofhonortookdownthepresident,J.T.Maston,MajorElphinstone,GeneralMorgan,ColonelBlomsberry,andothermembersoftheclub,tothenumberofteninall.Howhotitwasatthebottomofthatlongtubeofmetal!Theywerehalfsuffocated.Butwhatdelight!Whatecstasy!AtablehadbeenlaidwithsixcoversonthemassivestonewhichformedthebottomoftheColumbiad,andlightedbyajetofelectriclightresemblingthatofdayitself.Numerousexquisitedishes,whichseemedtodescendfromheaven,wereplacedsuccessivelybeforetheguests,andtherichestwinesofFranceflowedinprofusionduringthissplendidrepast,servedninehundredfeetbeneaththesurfaceoftheearth!

           Thefestivalwasanimated,nottosaysomewhatnoisy.Toastsflewbackwardandforward.Theydranktotheearthandtohersatellite,totheGunClub,theUnion,theMoon,Diana,Phoebe,Selene,the"peacefulcourierofthenight!"Allthehurrahs,carriedupwarduponthesonorouswavesoftheimmenseacoustictube,arrivedwiththesoundofthunderatitsmouth;andthemultituderangedroundStonesHillheartilyunitedtheirshoutswiththoseofthetenrevelershiddenfromviewatthebottomofthegiganticColumbiad.

           J.T.Mastonwasnolongermasterofhimself.Whetherheshoutedorgesticulated,ateordrankmost,wouldbeadifficultmattertodetermine.Atallevents,hewouldnothavegivenhisplaceupforanempire,"notevenifthecannonloaded,primed,andfiredatthatverymomentweretoblowhiminpiecesintotheplanetaryworld."

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