Паразит
II
Never!Lettheexperimentsgo,lettheresearchcometoanend;anythingisbetterthanfacingthismonstroustemptationwhichdragsmesolow.IhavesaidnothingtoMissPenclosa,butIshallsimplystayaway.Shecantellthereasonwithoutanywordsofmine.April7.HavestayedawayasIsaid.Itisapitytoruinsuchaninterestinginvestigation,butitwouldbeagreaterpitystilltoruinmylife,andIKNOWthatIcannottrustmyselfwiththatwoman.11P.M.Godhelpme!Whatisthematterwithme?AmIgoingmad?Letmetryandbecalmandreasonwithmyself.FirstofallIshallsetdownexactlywhatoccurred.ItwasnearlyeightwhenIwrotethelineswithwhichthisdaybegins.Feelingstrangelyrestlessanduneasy,IleftmyroomsandwalkedroundtospendtheeveningwithAgathaandhermother.TheybothremarkedthatIwaspaleandhaggard.AboutnineProfessorPratt-Haldanecamein,andweplayedagameofwhist.Itriedhardtoconcentratemyattentionuponthecards,butthefeelingofrestlessnessgrewandgrewuntilIfounditimpossibletostruggleagainstit.IsimplyCOULDnotsitstillatthetable.Atlast,intheverymiddleofahand,Ithrewmycardsdownand,withsomesortofanincoherentapologyabouthavinganappointment,Irushedfromtheroom.AsifinadreamIhaveavaguerecollectionoftearingthroughthehall,snatchingmyhatfromthestand,andslammingthedoorbehindme.Asinadream,too,Ihavetheimpressionofthedoublelineofgas-lamps,andmybespatteredbootstellmethatImusthaverundownthemiddleoftheroad.Itwasallmistyandstrangeandunnatural.
