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           Therewasnothinginherbearingtoshowthatyesterday’sincidenthadmadeanyimpressionuponher,andsoIaminclinedtohopethatIoverratedit.April6(evening).No,no,no,Ididnotoverrateit.Icannolongerattempttoconcealfrommyselfthatthiswomanhasconceivedapassionforme.Itismonstrous,butitistrue.Again,tonight,Iawokefromthemesmerictrancetofindmyhandinhers,andtosufferthatodiousfeelingwhichurgesmetothrowawaymyhonor,mycareer,everything,forthesakeofthiscreaturewho,asIcanplainlyseewhenIamawayfromherinfluence,possessesnosinglecharmuponearth.ButwhenIamnearher,Idonotfeelthis.Sherousessomethinginme,somethingevil,somethingIhadrathernotthinkof.Sheparalyzesmybetternature,too,atthemomentwhenshestimulatesmyworse.Decidedlyitisnotgoodformetobenearher.Lastnightwasworsethanbefore.InsteadofflyingIactuallysatforsometimewithmyhandinherstalkingoverthemostintimatesubjectswithher.WespokeofAgatha,amongotherthings.WhatcouldIhavebeendreamingof?MissPenclosasaidthatshewasconventional,andIagreedwithher.Shespokeonceortwiceinadisparagingwayofher,andIdidnotprotest.WhatacreatureIhavebeen!WeakasIhaveprovedmyselftobe,Iamstillstrongenoughtobringthissortofthingtoanend.Itshallnothappenagain.IhavesenseenoughtoflywhenIcannotfight.FromthisSundaynightonwardIshallneversitwithMissPenclosaagain.