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The Egotist Becomes a Personage
"I’llgoifyouwantmeto."
Themanmadenon-committalnoisesinhisthroatandpassedon.Amoryseatedhimselfonanoverturnedboatandleanedforwardthoughtfullyuntilhischinrestedinhishand.
"Misfortuneisliabletomakemeadamnbadman,"hesaidslowly.
INTHEDROOPINGHOURS
WhiletheraindrizzledonAmorylookedfutilelybackatthestreamofhislife,allitsglitteringsanddirtyshallows.Tobeginwith,hewasstillafraid—notphysicallyafraidanymore,butafraidofpeopleandprejudiceandmiseryandmonotony.Yet,deepinhisbitterheart,hewonderedifhewasafterallworsethanthismanorthenext.Heknewthathecouldsophisticatehimselffinallyintosayingthathisownweaknesswasjusttheresultofcircumstancesandenvironment;thatoftenwhenheragedathimselfasanegotistsomethingwouldwhisperingratiatingly:"No.Genius!"Thatwasonemanifestationoffear,thatvoicewhichwhisperedthathecouldnotbebothgreatandgood,thatgeniuswastheexactcombinationofthoseinexplicablegroovesandtwistsinhismind,thatanydisciplinewouldcurbittomediocrity.ProbablymorethananyconcreteviceorfailingAmorydespisedhisownpersonality—heloathedknowingthatto-morrowandthethousanddaysafterhewouldswellpompouslyatacomplimentandsulkatanillwordlikeathird-ratemusicianorafirst-classactor.
