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The Egotist Becomes a Personage
Justasacoolingpotgivesoffheat,soallthroughyouthandadolescencewegiveoffcaloriesofvirtue.That’swhat’scalledingenuousness.
Q.—Aninterestingidea.
A.—That’swhya"goodmangoingwrong"attractspeople.Theystandaroundandliterallywarmthemselvesatthecaloriesofvirtuehegivesoff.Sarahmakesanunsophisticatedremarkandthefacessimperindelight—"Howinnocentthepoorchildis!"They’rewarmingthemselvesathervirtue.ButSarahseesthesimperandnevermakesthatremarkagain.Onlyshefeelsalittlecolderafterthat.
Q.—Allyourcaloriesgone?
A.—Allofthem.I’mbeginningtowarmmyselfatotherpeople’svirtue.
Q.—Areyoucorrupt?
A.—Ithinkso.I’mnotsure.I’mnotsureaboutgoodandevilatallanymore.
Q.—Isthatabadsigninitself?
A.—Notnecessarily.
Q.—Whatwouldbethetestofcorruption?
A.—Becomingreallyinsincere—callingmyself"notsuchabadfellow,"thinkingIregrettedmylostyouthwhenIonlyenvythedelightsoflosingit.Youthislikehavingabigplateofcandy.Sentimentaliststhinktheywanttobeinthepure,simplestatetheywereinbeforetheyatethecandy.Theydon’t.Theyjustwantthefunofeatingitalloveragain.Thematrondoesn’twanttorepeathergirlhood—shewantstorepeatherhoneymoon.Idon’twanttorepeatmyinnocence.Iwantthepleasureoflosingitagain.
Q.
