Короли и капуста
The Phonograph and the Graft
IfColonelDiogenesweretoflashhislanterninthisprecincthe’dhavemyaddressinsideoftwominutes.Thereisn’tbigmoneyinit,butit’sasurething,andletsamansleepofnights.’
"ThusHomerP.MellingermadeorationtomeandHenryHorsecollar.And,later,hedivestedhimselfofthisremark:
"‘Boys,I’mtoholdasoiréethiseveningwithagangofleadingcitizens,andIwantyourassistance.Youbringthemusicalcornshellerandgivetheaffairtheoutsideappearanceofafunction.There’simportantbusinessonhand,butitmustn’tshow.Icantalktoyoupeople.I’vebeenpainedforyearsonaccountofnothavinganybodytoblowoffandbragto.Igethomesicksometimes,andI’dswaptheentireperquisitesofofficeforjustonehourtohaveasteinandacaviaresandwichsomewhereonThirty-fourthStreet,andstandandwatchthestreetcarsgoby,andsmellthepeanutroasteratoldGiuseppe’sfruitstand.’
"‘Yes,’saidI,‘there’sfinecaviareatBillyRenfrew’scafé,cornerofThirty-fourthand—’
"‘Godknowsit,’interruptsMellinger,‘andifyou’dtoldmeyouknewBillyRenfrewI’dhaveinventedtonsofwaysofmakingyouhappy.Billywasmyside-kickerinNewYork.Thereisamanwhoneverknewwhatcrookedwas.HereIamworkingHonestyforagraft,butthatmanlosesmoneyonit.Carrambos!Igetsickattimesofthiscountry.Everything’srotten.Fromtheexecutivedowntothecoffeepickers,they’replottingtodowneachotherandskintheirfriends.
